Take Back Your Family by Jefferson Bethke

Author:Jefferson Bethke
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Thomas Nelson
Published: 2021-07-02T00:00:00+00:00

We update our answers about once a quarter, and certainly at least once a year during our family summit.

I guess the looming question behind it all is: How can you be a family team if you don’t even know your family team? I want to know my team, and I want to be a good coach.

When I finally saw myself as a father coach, everything changed in our house. No single idea turned us upside down (or should I say right side up) as much as that one.

Having played seventeen years of baseball and four years of basketball on school teams, summer teams, and camp teams, I don’t even know the number of coaches I’ve had. Probably somewhere in the realm of fifty to seventy-five, with ten of them being so prominent in my life that I spent significant amounts of time with them. Maybe it was the grace of God or maybe it wasn’t, but I have had a handful of incredible coaches, full-blown mentors and shepherds of my skill and development. And really only one terrible coach.

The terrible coach was one of my college coaches, and thankfully I was at an age and maturity when I could see through him (and actually felt bad for the guy). He was the classic movie character of the worst sports stereotype.

He swore every other word. Talked about girls and women in some of the most grotesque ways I’ve ever heard in conversation. And guess what his most used tool was? Shame. Yelling. “Oh, c’mon, that’s terrible. Get out of there. You suck. What are you thinking?!”

But my good coaches? Life changing. We intuitively know how a coach operates and how he can change a player’s life when he’s at his best. But here’s the thing: only coaches are in this position of changing lives. And what’s fascinating about those life-changing moments we receive from coaches is that they are often more subtle and smaller than we think.

Take Alex Pentland’s famous experiments, for example.

If you are ever in a team or workplace environment and you notice everyone wearing lanyards with badges that are a little thicker and more electronic than the average plastic badge, there is a good chance you are in one of Alex Pentland’s famous experiments.

Who’s Pentland? He’s considered by many to be the godfather of big data, and he pioneered an entirely new field called “social physics” at MIT’s Human Dynamics Lab.

He essentially tries to blend experiments and questions dealing with human psychology and sociology with cutting-edge data and technology research. His most famous and most compelling work has to do with his sociometric device badge, which looks like a normal name tag except the badge is slightly thicker and has tiny computer parts inside that are constantly measuring more than a hundred variable points per minute.

The device tracks your location, and records interpersonal variables every sixteen milliseconds, that include, according to Pentland, “the tone of voice used; whether people face one another while talking; how much they gesture; and how much they talk, listen, and interrupt each other.

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